Left behind
by sphinxofthenile
Summary: Kadaj is dead, but Yazoo and Loz survived the explosion. How will they cope with the loss of their little brother? Sad little drabbles for Andrannath
1. Left behind

Disclaimer: I do not own them, Square Enix does. I just love to abduct them for short time periods and play with them.

Warning: It's sad. I mean it!

A/N: The last title is a quote from "Silver and Cold" by AFI. (Which I sadly don't own either.)

* * *

**Rain**

Rain was falling from the heavens in cold grey stripes.

_Like strands of silver hair…_

Yazoo breathed in the night air smelling of water and wet concrete. The scent of rainwashed air was painfully familiar…

The scent of _his_ silver hair…

The younger clone was grateful for the rain, because when his brother joined him, he could pretend that the droplets slowly sliding down his beautiful face came from the dark clouds above, and not from his own emerald eyes.

* * *

**Numb**

„Yazoo?"

„Yes, Loz?"

He tried to make his voice calm and soothing as it used to be, but somehow it seemed odd to his own ears, void of something he didn't know was there until it wasn't.

As if with his death a part of his voice was gone, it wasn't silk anymore, but something harder, rougher. Numb.

„Do you think he is with Mother?"

He only nodded, not trusting his new voice with the lie.

* * *

**The ghost of you**

Yazoo leaned to the doorframe, watching Loz kneeling beside one of the bikes and working on it deftly while he was whistling a little tune to himself.

Yazoo knew the melody by heart, he did even know when his brother will miss the right note.

Inevitably.

It was always at the same point.

There was light, silvery laughter from behind, as always when the slight frown appeared on Loz's face, but Yazoo didn't turn.

He was getting used to the knowledge that no one was there.

* * *

**"It is silver and silent"**

Hours have passed since their lovemaking, but Yazoo still laid awake, emerald eyes peering into the grey cover of time between night and dawn.

He turned his head, looking at his brother, his silver hair tousled, white skin exposed to the light breeze coming from the open window.

It used to feel peaceful, he used to feel heavy and light at the same time, content and finally at ease...

Before...

Yazoo turned his head away and closed his eyes.

His sensitive hearing missed the quiet breathing of a third, and the room suddenly felt too silent...

Like a grave.


	2. I felt him die

**Warning:** sadness and character death  
**Disclaimer:** I would like to own, but my lawyer sais I have no chance. .> I do not own the song "All I ask of you" from the Phantom of the Opera either. I'm stealing it without permission. I just happened to listen to it while writing this, and was surprised to see how it fit.

* * *

I fell on my knees as pain raced through my heart. A part of me was brutally taken away, my heart was torn out, and in the sudden emptiness, pain howled like some untameable beast. I was shivering, shrieking and almost screaming with the hurt, and Loz watched me stunned with his tear-filled eyes, but I didn't care. 

_I felt him die._

Suddenly, through the burning droplets of rain I heard something, something becoming clearer and louder by the minute, until I could make out the faint, familiar words. And the song just went on, singing comforting little lies of daylight, freedom, safety and everlasting love. 

I remembered how I used to hold him in the darkest nights, how I used to rock him until in my arms, how I used to kiss his temples, how I used to breathe in the sweet scent of his silver hair, how I used to sing him the song… 

_No more talk  
of darkness.  
Forget these  
wide-eyed fears,  
I'm here,  
nothing can harm you,  
my words will  
warm and calm you._

_Let me be  
your shelter,  
let me  
be your light.  
You're safe:  
No one will find you,  
your fears are  
far behind you... _

The way he slept in my arms, trusting, peaceful. The way he smiled, cocking his head to the side. The way his gloved hands used to toy with my hair… 

_And I've just felt him die…_  



End file.
